BY
After a late night of hanging out with friends, a local 2L was very proud that he made it to Professor Stephenson’s brutally early Environmental Law class on Monday at 8:45am. However, at 9:15 the student, who asked to remain anonymous, realized he badly needed to use the bathroom. Unfortunately, he was landlocked in the middle of the fourth row in Pound 101.
“I covertly glanced in both directions,” said the student, “and everyone was sitting either too far from the table or had a huge backpack in the way. There was no way I could get out without causing a tremendous amount of commotion. And getting back in, forget it.”
As the clock ticked down, the sound of that last cup of coffee gurgling in the student’s ears became more and more deafening. “I had to get out,” he said. “There was no way I could make it through to the end. I plotted every step – first chair, no problem, step over a backpack near the second, by then the next guy will have heard me and would move his chair out of the way, then only two more backpacks to hop over and I’d be home free.”
Finally, no longer able to control himself, the student got up and began the obstacle course, tripped over the last backpack, stumbled, cursed too loudly under his breath and flew out of the room. Too embarrassed and angry to navigate his way back, he hung around in the hallway until class was over when he went to retrieve his laptop. “The ultimate lesson is: don’t bother coming to class at the crack of dawn on Mondays,” he said after the incident.