At the turn of the century, I entered the legal profession not quite sure where I wanted to go or what I wanted to do with my hard-earned law degree. I did know two simple things–I wanted to use my education to make the world a better place and I wanted to have a fulfilling life. I believe most people embarking on a career in law have those same hopes. For me, the pursuit of those goals led to a career in public service representing people who have been charged with or convicted of felony offenses. It was not the most glamorous, lucrative, or comfortable choice of professional endeavor. Yet, two decades after my foray into this challenging and unpredictable career, I can honestly say I have found fulfillment and meaning in my work. In the last twenty years, I have learned much about the law, but I have learned even more about myself and where and how I fit into the legal profession and my community. Embracing some key truths along the way has helped me find contentment in an often demanding profession.
First, I have accepted that my gift will make room for me. There is a holy scripture that says one’s gift will make room for them. Over the years, I have come to see that truth in my own career. Every lawyer in my state has graduated from law school and passed the bar exam. Each one of us is presumed to have basic lawyering skills. But we all have different gifts. We may have a keen eye for detail, an incredible memory, an unusually empathetic nature, an unnatural ability to focus on one topic for an extended period of time, or an uncanny ability to size up people or situations. I have found some of my most successful and satisfied colleagues are those who have learned to embrace and enhance their own gifts and celebrate, not covet, those of others.
Lawyers are advocates for individuals, ideas, communities, and/or causes. Each client we represent deserves to have us put up the best possible fight for them. The best fighters must be liberated and empowered to bring their whole self and best attributes to the battle. There is something liberating about recognizing and celebrating our own strengths. It empowers us to celebrate ourselves and identify how we can best approach the task at hand. We can all develop in various areas, and we should constantly be striving to gain new skills and develop professionally. But we should also be comfortable leaning into our natural and previously acquired strengths. When we do that, we excel, and others notice what we offer. That is how we differentiate ourselves from all the other people who also went to law school and passed the bar exam. It is then that our gifts can make room for us. Importantly, the spaces we can enter when we lean into the greatness of our gifts are inevitably spaces that are comfortable and well suited to our talents. They are spaces where we can freely breathe and find satisfaction.
I have found some of my most successful and satisfied colleagues are those who have learned to embrace and enhance their own gifts and celebrate, not covet, those of others.
Second, I have learned there is strength and benefit in recognizing the gifts of others. An outgrowth of allowing our own gifts to make room for us is being open to letting others’ gifts make room for them. There is an African proverb that says, “if you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go together.” For me, professional satisfaction is about the long game, and I want to go far. I have found contentment in accepting that a colleague may have certain skills or talents that I don’t have, but that are essential if we are to go far. This may result from their personal background, natural gifts, or other experiences. Instead of viewing their unique abilities as some sort of threat to my professional achievement or personal worth, I have decided to view their strengths as an opportunity to enhance my own practice and better help my clients.
Though it can be easy to forget, when we agree to represent a client in any capacity, it ceases to be about us and we must consider the needs of the client. The people I represent are some of the most marginalized. Many of them have been convicted of serious offenses and face the prospect of dying behind prison walls. Most are Black or brown. Several have developmental and/or psychological differences and challenges. Each is depending on me to help them. I can’t let my ego prevent me from seeing how a colleague’s ideas, approach, or skills might benefit any client in a meaningful way. My experiences have led me to believe that focusing on those we serve and the reasons we serve–above our own need for recognition and validation–is imperative if we are to fulfill our professional responsibilities. It is necessary if we are to become better lawyers. Moreover, it is essential if we are to be professionally and personally content.
when we agree to represent a client in any capacity, it ceases to be about us and we must consider the needs of the client.
Third, I have learned to reject a single, uniform, and narrow measure of success. As lawyers, we are often tempted to compare ourselves to others based on a prescribed list of achievements. That list might include gaining a certain level of money and the material benefits it affords, or obtaining a prestigious title and the power it confers. We are sometimes lulled into ranking one another’s professional worth based on the firm, agency, or organization we work with. We can fall prey to the habit of comparing professional stats: motions granted, adversaries bested, settlements achieved, or legislative battles won. As an attorney working on behalf of marginalized people accused (or already convicted) of serious crimes, I have chosen a path that offers me limited success based on those measures. In truth, many attorneys, regardless of practice area, who prioritize making a difference and having a fulfilling life, find themselves in the same position. Judging ourselves by the above metrics could leave us questioning our life choices and worth. Yet, these measurements rarely offer true estimates of how we are doing and how we are helping.
For me, finding satisfaction and contentment has meant using measurements that do account for how I am doing and how I am helping. Did I offer my client an advocate who saw them as worthy of respect and good representation? Did I help a colleague strengthen their knowledge base or gain other practice skills that will benefit our clients or cause moving forward? Did I use the wisdom gained from previous difficult professional interactions to handle my most recent conflict more successfully? Could I summon the strength to argue a novel or unpopular idea on behalf of my current client, despite the ridicule or loss I suffered making such an argument for a previous one? Did I make a judge, adversary, legislator, or other stakeholder begin to consider a viewpoint or solution they had never contemplated? Am I maintaining healthy relationships with friends, family, and other community members, despite the pressures of work, understanding that the richness of these other aspects of my life makes me a more effective attorney and healthier person? The answers to these and similar questions offer some of the most helpful clues about if I am meeting my personal goals of making a difference and leading a fulfilling life.
Thankfully, after two decades, I continue to learn and grow. I don’t know what the future holds, except that it is guaranteed to bring surprises and challenges. My experiences and observations have left me reasonably sure of some things, however. Meeting new situations with the strengths, gifts, and skills I bring will put me in the best position to thrive, while avoiding the discomfort that inevitably results from being anything other than my authentic self. Identifying, celebrating, and utilizing the gifts of others will help me cross new terrain I might find difficult to traverse on my own. Measuring my performance and progress by the things that truly matter most to me, not to others, is the best way to gauge my success.