Leroy Jenkins

I’m a couple of weeks late with this topic, but I’m sure you’re all sick of hearing about the debates. (Like how Obama and Romney turned into the same person on the last one: pro-Israel, anti-China, milquetoasty.) Anyway, there is a certain Colleen Lachowicz, who is a Democratic candidate for the Maine state senate. She also plays the MMORPG, World of Warcraft, for which the Maine GOP is trying to attack her. As someone who has apparently wasted 150+ days on this game (yes, that means more than 3,600 hours logged), I thought I would make a little primer:

First of all, she’s not max level. 85 is no longer the max level after the release of Mists of Pandaria (yes, really) in late September. In fact, she better have a damn good reason who she didn’t stay up all night to grind out five more levels.

Second of all, there could be worse things than being an orc rogue.  Everyone knows that the orcs are basically the black people of Warcraft—so right away we know that she’s not a racist. Also, rogues are sneaky and stabby, but sometimes they’re also lazy (like me) and just run up to things and whack them. The point is, she could have been a Tauren (American Indian) shaman (witch doctor). Or a Troll (Jamaican) priest (blasphemy). Or an Undead (British Zombie) warlock (devil worshipper). Or a Goblin (Jewish) mage (nerd).

Third of all, Warcraft is actually collaborative and shows a certain ability to play well with others. (It’s understandable why the Maine GOP would not like this characteristic.) You need to cooperate to kill a boss. You need to have persistence and perseverance to accomplish something. You need to be able to handle the scrubs. Sure, her comments on the forums are stupid, but trust me, you gotta be stupid to survive in WoW. You’re basically dealing with 13 year-old nerd rage and 25 year-old sexual frustration (and vice versa).

On a more serious note, who the fuck cares? Honestly, who cares if this woman plays Warcraft on her off time? ( Sometimes I play Warcraft during Tax.) Furthermore, I don’t care if some guy sends a dickpic or gets caught in the bathroom getting a blowie from an altar boy. (Okay, the latter might be too much.) Sure it’s embarrassing. Sure, if you go around slutshaming the rest of the time, you’re a hypocrite and a douche. But aren’t we all above ad hominem arguments? Look, Bill Clinton, I don’t understand why you would waste your freebie on a chubby chubster, but I don’t give a damn. Similarly, I don’t care if Gronkowski is partying too hard with his girlfriend, as long as he’s still got good hands on the field (dubious).

Paying too much attention to a figure’s personal life only serves to distort the quality of her arguments and ideas. In this day and age, I’m sure we’re all a little bit ashamed of our actions. For example, I ate nothing but Velveeta Cheesy Shells and chocolate for a whole weekend. But that does not affect how terrible and crazy my ideas are.

Lisa Wang is a 3L. Her column runs every other Thursday.

The views in opinion editorials, columns, and letters do not necessarily reflect the views of The Record.