BY JEREMY BLACHMAN
Dear Reader:
I recently e-mailed you (personally) asking you (personally) to participate in the Law School Survey of Student Engagement. If you have not yet taken the 15 minutes (give or take an hour) to do so, I (personally) hope that you will do so now. As I said then, the closer we come to 100% participation, the bigger my bonus will be. I need your help to finally get that hot tub I’ve been trying to earn enough money to afford.
SECTION I.In your experience at your law school during the current school year, about how often have you done each of the following? (Very Often / Often / Sometimes / Never / Too Drunk To Remember)1. Asked questions in class that contributed to class discussions 2. Asked questions in class that did not contribute to class discussions3. Prepared two or more drafts of a paper or assignment before turning it in4. Even bothered to spell-check a paper or assignment before turning it in5. Come to class without completing readings or assignments6. Came to class at all7. Worked with other students on projects during class (i.e. Instant Messaging)8. Worked with classmates outside of class to prepare class assignments (i.e. Cheating)9. Put together ideas or concepts from different courses when completing assignments or during class discussions (i.e. Thinking) 10. Used e-mail to communicate with a faculty member11. Used spam e-mail to communicate with a faculty member12. Worked harder than you thought you could to meet a faculty member’s standards or expectations13. Are lying about the answer to question 1214. Worked with faculty members on activities other than coursework (use your imagination)15. Had serious conversations with students from a different planet than your own
SECTION II.During the current school year, how much has your coursework emphasized the following mental activities? (Very Much / Quite a Bit / Some / Very Little / I Wouldn’t Know, Since I Don’t Go To Class)1. Memorizing facts, ideas, or methods, from your courses and readings so you can parrot them back on the exam2. Keeping the Tetris blocks from rising too high while answering a professor’s inquiry about a case you didn’t read 3. Convincing yourself that any of this actually matters
SECTION III.Which of the following have you done or do you plan to do at your law school before you graduate? (Done / Plan to do / Do not plan to do / Wouldn’t do for all the money in the world)1. Clinical internship or field experience 2. Volunteer or pro bono work 3. Work on a legal research project with a faculty member outside of course requirements 4. Do anything at all outside of course requirements5. Study abroad 6. Study right here7. Moot court8. Real court, following an arrest9. The People’s Court
SECTION IV.During the current school year, about how many hours do you spend in a typical 7-day week doing each of the following?1. Reading assigned textbooks, online class reading, and other course materials 2. Preparing for class and clinical courses other than reading (studying, writing, doing homework, trial preparation)3. Masturbating4. Legal pro bono work not required for a class or clinical course5. Freecell6. Working for pay in a law-related job7. Working for pay in a non-legal job8. Working for pay in an illegal job9. Relaxing10. Socializing11. Drinking alone
SECTION V.To what extent does your law school emphasize each of the following? (Very Much / Quite a Bit / Some / Very Little / For The Last Time, I’m Not Even Enrolled Here)1. Spending significant amounts of time studying and on academic work 2. Encouraging the ethical practice of the law3. Passing out on the sidewalk4. Working effectively with others5. Working ineffectively with others6. Burying your soul deep inside what used to be a living, breathing heart but is now merely a lump of coal that sits in your chest, black and withered from the evil all around you
THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR VIEWS!Your responses to the survey have been lost in the system somewhere.
Jeremy Blachman is a 3L. More at http://jeremyblachman.blogspot.com.