Record Review: The Bachelor Week 10

Oh hi! I didn’t see you come in. I was just sitting on my couch thinking about what I’m doing with my life and how to maintain a sense of purpose in these final months of my education (…just kidding, I was watching Hawaii 5-0 on Netflix). But now that you’re here, I can get down to the important and meaningful work of writing about The Bachelor. Where did we leave off last week?

That’s right! Raven just told the world she’d never had an orgasm (with her ex-boyfriend, or, alternately, ever?), then toddled into the Fantasy Suite to share a night of passion with Nick. (Gross.)

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Laura Dismore is a 3L.

Record Review: The Bachelor Week 9

Hello my turtledoves. I’m sorry this week’s recap is late! I’ve fallen victim to the post-Parody plague, and every surface in my apartment is now covered with a film of cough drop wrappers, Saltine crumbs, and half-drunk mugs of tea. But Parody was so worth it! And really, all great art is about suffering.

Speaking of suffering, let’s jump into this past week’s episode. Much of the Internet found it super boring, but I actually thought there was a lot going on. The episode begins with a totally spontaneous and unexpected conversation with Andi Dorfman, who broke Nick’s heart three years ago (How was that only three years ago? It feels like so much longer).

“Andi is the last person I ever thought I would see,” Nick says, his eyes totally dead, his face registering none of the expressions human beings associate with surprise.

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Laura Dismore is a 3L.

Record Review: The Bachelor Week 8

And we’re back! I know we’re a little bit late this week. That’s because I do have other stuff going on in my life, such as Parody (which you should all go see!) and working on a cat puzzle in the TAP office. (And … classes? Sure. Classes too.)

But it was worth the wait, because this week’s episode was Hometown Dates, where Nick travels back to the hometowns of each of the remaining women and meets their friends and family members who are willing to appear on this ridiculous show. Despite whatever absurd cliffhanger we had last week with the women talking about how nervous they were about being turned away, Nick gives roses to each of the remaining ladies (Raven, Rachel, Corinne, and Vanessa), and away we go.

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Laura Dismore is a 3L.

Future Lawyers Should Take Care to Protect Patient Privacy

The 1996 Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) is America’s statutory foundation to ensure patient privacy and the security of protected health information. Patients rely on HIPAA to protect health information communicated during a doctor’s visit.

However, that same health information is not similarly protected if patients input or record that information on social media, health tech apps, or smart tech, as none of those technologies are subject to HIPAA regulation.

As future Harvard-educated lawyers, your roles will be critical in the important issue of protecting patient privacy in emerging technologies.

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Ariella Michal Medows works in health and educational consulting.

Record Review: The Bachelor Week 7

By now I’m sure all of you have heard the news that massively overshadows Nick’s pointless quest for love: in a historic, history-making move, Rachel Lindsay, lovely human being, is going to be franchise’s first black Bachelorette! I’m not sure why Bachelor creator Mike Fleiss thinks he has anything to be proud of: the first 33 seasons of the franchise featured exclusively White leads; prior to the current season, no Black contestant made it past week five; and, perhaps most tellingly, since the franchise began, over half the Black contestants have been eliminated or left by the end of week two.

While we only know what the editors want us to know, it was obvious from the first episode that Rachel was bringing a hell of a lot more to the table than Nick (or, arguably, anyone who’s ever been on the show before in any capacity). She’s been a joy to watch and by all appearances a joy to be around: she seems to have developed strong friendships with the other women, and even Nick seems like a tolerable person when he’s in her presence. Rachel is so great that a teeny tiny part of me is sad that she’s subjecting herself to this, because I feel confident she deserves better than the “entrepreneurs,” “real estate developers,” and “former professional athletes” she’ll inevitably be subjected to in her own season. But still! This is a big deal, and I’m actually excited for next season now.

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Laura Dismore is a 3L.

Progressivism in Crisis

Progressivism has an authenticity problem.

It’s been hijacked by those most disconnected from the injustices it seeks to correct — it has, as I have written before, “become the project of the oppressors, not the oppressed.” In doing so, it has stripped autonomy from those marginalized populations who suffer the most under those injustices. This has led to those populations being denied the validation and empowerment they desperately need, which can only arise from the ability to freely decide their own fate.

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White PowerPoint: 8 Tips and Tricks for Punchier Hate

Okay, so your fringe white nationalist belief system is finally picking up steam. How can you break into the lecture circuit and make your voice heard? If you’re serious about compelling storytelling, you’ll have to master Microsoft PowerPoint, the presentation software used by white people in fields as diverse as management consulting and operations consulting. So, go ahead, log onto the desktop computer your mom keeps in the basement but lets you use, and book a venue using your mom’s credit card. With these easy tips and tricks you’re sure to earn a standing ö-vation.

  1. Deliver a clear message on each slide
    It’s common for beginners to stuff their slides with too many words. Just like the hairstyle you share with trendy uptown baristas, you’ll need to shave a lot off the sides and focus on what’s up top. Your audience shouldn’t have to squint to determine whether or not you’re in favor of a “white history month” (you obviously are). Your conclusions should be clear, even to the folks in the very back of the ballroom of the Sheraton off Morris Pike (congrats on booking that by the way, it’s a beautiful space).

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After 104 Years, Student Focus Still Central to HLAB

The press never sleeps, and neither does the Harvard Legal Aid Bureau, which recently elected its 2017 board. On this blustery half-snow day, The Record spoke with HLAB president Julian SpearChief-Morris, executive director Margaret Kettles, vice president of membership Cortney Robinson, and communications director Nadia Farjood to check in with the 104-year-old legal services organization.

The Record: Let’s get right into it: HLAB is obviously a huge part of the campus community, but what are some things that people might not know about HLAB?

Julian SpearChief-Morris: Well first, we’re the second-largest provider of legal aid in the Boston area. We handle a tremendous number of cases.

Margaret Kettles: We take about 20 new cases each month and have 330 active cases. Many last for years. For example, in our housing practice, we work on complex foreclosure cases where we work with banks and their lawyers to get the proper paperwork, and a case can go through housing court, the appellate court, the Supreme Judicial Court, and back down to housing court.

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Jim An is the editor-in-chief of The Harvard Law Record and a member of the Harvard Law School Class of 2018.

Record Review: The Bachelor Week 6

Well, cats and kittens, here we are. We’ve reached the point in the season when everything is unnecessarily emotionally intense and I’m basically just watching so my roommates and I can yell at the TV. It’s going to be a long slog from here on out. (Kind of like law school? No, just kidding, law school gets better at the end. Unless you take Fed Courts! But seriously, I’m just kidding.)

Last episode ended with a Corinne-and-Taylor two-on-one from which Corinne emerged victorious and Taylor was left in the Louisiana swamp to be eaten by alligators. Having evaded the alligators (which is impressive, because those prehistoric beasts are fast and their teeth are terrifying), Taylor rolls back into town to interrupt the dinner date portion of the evening, probably for the sole purpose of giving the producers a cliffhanger. Nick and Taylor part on good terms, and Taylor reiterates to the camera that she doesn’t think Corinne is right for Nick. Shocking stuff.

(The one good thing to come out of all that was yet another inexplicable Corinne one-liner that must have sounded pithier in her head: “What I learned tonight is that cats have nine lives and b****es have two.” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, CORINNE? What could that possibly mean? You know what, at this point, don’t tell me. I’m enjoying the mystery.)

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Laura Dismore is a 3L.

Record Retrospective: Supreme Court Nominee’s Social Club Nearly Shut Down Over Nuisance Complaints

Editor’s note: President Trump nominated Judge Neil Gorsuch of the United States Court of Appeals for the Tenth Circuit to fill the late Justice Scalia’s seat on the United States Supreme Court this past Tuesday. The below Record article from November 30, 1990, describes how Cambridge residents threatened to shut down Gorsuch’s social club, Lincoln’s Inn, over “rowdy, selfish and “anti-social” behavior.”

Lincoln’s Inn Survives Neighborhood Petition

By George Paul

The Lincoln’s Inn Society has survived, for the moment, a threat to its very existence in the latest chapter of a forty-year battle between the Inn and its neighbors.

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Record Review: The Bachelor Week 5

Welcome back to The Bachelor! It’s nice to know that, even as Earth burns down around us, some things in this tumultuous world remain constant: for example, by the fifth episode everyone’s roots are showing because they can’t get their hair dyed during taping, contestants start telling the Bachelor that they’re falling in love with him, and I’m getting bored but can’t look away as things start to unravel. Let’s dive in, shall we?

This episode opens with the continuation of previously cliff-hangered Corinne drama, as all episodes apparently do now (it’s so consistent that at this point you’ll turn on an unrelated show next week and the first scenes will be Corinne rolling her eyes at the camera, then passing out drunk in a cocktail dress).

For some reason that remains opaque to me, Taylor decided it was a good idea to try to have a conversation with Corinne, and they’re still going at it. The conversation itself isn’t particularly important or substantive, but in a stunning display of gaslighting, Corinne manages to take all the criticisms Taylor had had about Corinne and flips them around on Taylor. The conversation ended with a truly impressive exchange:

Corinne: I just hope the way you’re feeling right now is the way I felt yesterday — alone and sad.

Taylor: I’m not feeling either of those things.

Corinne: Well you should, because half the people in there think you’re here for the wrong reasons.

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Laura Dismore is a 3L.

Record Review: The Bachelor Week 3

Welcome back to The Bachelor, where everything is made up and the points don’t matter. A quick refresher: instead of closing with the typical rose ceremony, Episode 2 cut off just after Nick had sent home Liz for running her mouth about their one-night stand months earlier. Voiceover of his concerns about the women abandoning him plays over footage of Nick wrinkling his brow.

Episode 3 opens at the pre-elimination cocktail party, where Nick drops the “bombshell” about Liz’s departure.  He expresses his concerns, but while we hear disembodied voices saying that “the girls are going crazy” and “it makes you question what Nick’s intentions are,” we don’t actually see anyone looking too bothered. Multiple women assure Nick that they don’t care, and one woman (who almost certainly has a name; I just don’t know it) even asked why what Liz did was any different from the maneuver Nick pulled when he rolled up to Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season. On the whole, it kind of seemed like it didn’t matter. So, in that case, what is the value-add of delaying the rose ceremony other than annoying the crap out of me?

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Laura Dismore is a 3L.

Record Review: The Bachelor Week 2

Oh boy. This week’s episode checks basically every box you could have on a Bachelor bingo card: a helicopter, wedding dresses, full-on boobs, “not here to make friends,” questioning motives, a slap across the face, a contestant getting booted early, and a to-be-continued instead of a rose ceremony.

The episode begins with a date card that says “Always a bridesmaid.” What a great way for the ladies to head into the date feeling insecure and inadequate! Naturally, the activity is a wedding photoshoot series with each of the twelve participants dressed up as a different kind of bride (or bridesmaid). There’s an 80s wedding, a Las Vegas wedding, a biker wedding, a shotgun wedding (our favorite aspiring dolphin trainer Alexis is tricked out with a fake pregnancy belly. “I had no idea what a shotgun wedding was!” she cheerfully announces, as she waves a literal shotgun), and, of course, an Adam and Eve wedding. The “dress?” Leaf-covered bikini bottoms and breast-length hair extensions. I think it says a lot about the personal journey I’ve been on with this program that I wasn’t fazed at all by that particular development. It now seems totally normal to be required to show sideboob on national television to win over a man ten years your senior.

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Laura Dismore is a 3L.

Record Review: The Bachelor Week 1

Each season’s premiere episode of The Bachelor tends to follow the same pattern: it documents the current Bachelor’s pre-show love journey (and affirms his commitment to finding The One) and then it introduces a parade of semi-interchangeable ladies. All you need to know at the beginning is that there are two treatments on the first night: a woman either has potential or is a punchline.

Before we can meet the women, however, we learn about Nick. Specifically, ABC has the task of convincing their viewers that Nick is taking the process seriously; if he isn’t there for the right reasons, the whole thing falls apart. And so we get to witness a conversation between Nick and some of the least qualified people in America to discuss finding love: previous Bachelors from this very franchise. Chris Soules, Sean Lowe, and Ben Higgins are ostensibly there to give Nick advice about the show, but they’re really there to pull the viewers into the alternate reality ABC has painstakingly crafted.

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Laura Dismore is a 3L.

Record Review: The Bachelor Season Preview

This season of The Bachelor just might be the most self-referential (and self-indulgent) yet, and I am READY.

For those of you who have been living under a rock for the past ten years and are new to the franchise, here’s the basic premise: a dude who has been selected as The Bachelor lives in a mansion with 25-30 women who compete for his love (sometimes literally, such as in obstacle courses) as he eliminates “contestants” week by week.

After enough time passes and enough champagne is consumed, some lucky Ashley (or Ashlee, or Britney, or Lauren) gets to be engaged to him for like three months until they’ve amassed enough Instagram followers that Chris Harrison, who hosts the show, tells them they can break up. One of the other Amandas (or Kaylees, or Laurens — there were four Laurens last season!) who came in second or third or fourth is selected to be the next season’s Bachelorette, and the process continues, but with 25 whiskey-drinking dudes named Chad and Trent and Brad, and way more promos about people getting punched in the face. You get the idea.

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Laura Dismore is a 3L.