Oh hi! I didn’t see you come in. I was just sitting on my couch thinking about what I’m doing with my life and how to maintain a sense of purpose in these final months of my education (…just kidding, I was watching Hawaii 5-0 on Netflix). But now that you’re here, I can get […]
Hello my turtledoves. I’m sorry this week’s recap is late! I’ve fallen victim to the post-Parody plague, and every surface in my apartment is now covered with a film of cough drop wrappers, Saltine crumbs, and half-drunk mugs of tea. But Parody was so worth it! And really, all great art is about suffering. Speaking […]
And we’re back! I know we’re a little bit late this week. That’s because I do have other stuff going on in my life, such as Parody (which you should all go see!) and working on a cat puzzle in the TAP office. (And … classes? Sure. Classes too.) But it was worth the wait, […]
By now I’m sure all of you have heard the news that massively overshadows Nick’s pointless quest for love: in a historic, history-making move, Rachel Lindsay, lovely human being, is going to be franchise’s first black Bachelorette! I’m not sure why Bachelor creator Mike Fleiss thinks he has anything to be proud of: the first […]
Well, cats and kittens, here we are. We’ve reached the point in the season when everything is unnecessarily emotionally intense and I’m basically just watching so my roommates and I can yell at the TV. It’s going to be a long slog from here on out. (Kind of like law school? No, just kidding, law […]
Welcome back to The Bachelor! It’s nice to know that, even as Earth burns down around us, some things in this tumultuous world remain constant: for example, by the fifth episode everyone’s roots are showing because they can’t get their hair dyed during taping, contestants start telling the Bachelor that they’re falling in love with […]
At the start of Week 4’s episode, Corinne asks the camera, “Why are [the other girls] so obsessed with me?” At first, it sounds like the smug redirection of an attention-seeker who’s been called out for her nonsense. But as the episode progresses, it becomes clear that Corinne kind of has a point. Just as […]
Welcome back to The Bachelor, where everything is made up and the points don’t matter. A quick refresher: instead of closing with the typical rose ceremony, Episode 2 cut off just after Nick had sent home Liz for running her mouth about their one-night stand months earlier. Voiceover of his concerns about the women abandoning […]
Oh boy. This week’s episode checks basically every box you could have on a Bachelor bingo card: a helicopter, wedding dresses, full-on boobs, “not here to make friends,” questioning motives, a slap across the face, a contestant getting booted early, and a to-be-continued instead of a rose ceremony. The episode begins with a date card […]
Each season’s premiere episode of The Bachelor tends to follow the same pattern: it documents the current Bachelor’s pre-show love journey (and affirms his commitment to finding The One) and then it introduces a parade of semi-interchangeable ladies. All you need to know at the beginning is that there are two treatments on the first […]
This season of The Bachelor just might be the most self-referential (and self-indulgent) yet, and I am READY. For those of you who have been living under a rock for the past ten years and are new to the franchise, here’s the basic premise: a dude who has been selected as The Bachelor lives in […]
