Search Results for: lisa wang

Opinion  /  October 25, 2012  / 

Leroy Jenkins

I’m a couple of weeks late with this topic, but I’m sure you’re all sick of hearing about the debates. (Like how Obama and Romney turned into the same person on the last one: pro-Israel, anti-China, milquetoasty.) Anyway, there is a certain Colleen Lachowicz, who is a Democratic candidate for the Maine state senate. She also plays the MMORPG, World of Warcraft, for which the Maine GOP is trying to attack her. As someone who has apparently wasted 150+ days on this game (yes, that means more than 3,600 hours logged), I thought I would make a little primer: First of all, she’s not max level. 85 is no longer the max level after the release of Mists of Pandaria (yes, really) in late September. In fact, she better have a damn good reason who she didn’t stay up all night to grind out five more levels. Second of all, … Continue reading

Opinion  /  October 11, 2012  / 

A Rock and a Hard Place

I have a dilemma. For months now, I have been swearing left and right that I wouldn’t vote for either Romney or Obama. And now, I just don’t know. Quite obviously, I would never vote for Obama. First of all, he lacked moral integrity when he promised that he would shut down Guantanamo even though anyone of his intellectual caliber would know that such a move would be impossible in the execution. Second, he has expanded executive power beyond anything that is acceptable or would be viewed as acceptable by the Framers. Consider the drone attacks that are terrorizing innocent children in Pakistan, or Obama’s unilateral declaration that all males killed by a drone will be presumed to be terrorists. Or how about the fact that Obama decided that he can secretly order the extrajudicial killing of an American citizen? Finally, whether he is primarily responsible for this or not … Continue reading

Opinion  /  September 27, 2012  / 

Ten Things Romney and Obama Should Do Instead of Debating

Soon, it will be October, which means shorter days, all sorts of pumpkin-flavored shit, atrociously reffed football games, and the beginning of a seemingly interminable series of debates. Is anyone looking forward to these debates except to catch Mittens finally losing it and cussing out poor people? Despite the fact that Romney’s job for two years was to convince people to believe in a religion based on some golden plates found in upstate New York (do you know what kind of homunculi live in upstate New York?!) and that we are all the “spirit-children” of God, he is surprisingly terrible at debating. Also, while Barack is fairly charismatic, he’s probably fresh out of promises to break in his first year of reelection.  Thus, even though this season’s television has already proven to be terrible (Lucy Liu as Dr. Watson, a whole mess of shows about gays that are indistinguishable from … Continue reading

Opinion  /  September 13, 2012  / 

Must Louis Die?

As we trudge back to campus and into our regularly scheduled programming after a summer of either hazy debauchery and soul-sucking selling out or of getting a pre-graduation look at one’s impending impoverishment from a high horse, I have a few things to say in response to a certain Record piece and in general about the attitude pervading America this election season. What is so wrong with being rich? I’m sure by writing this column, I will be inviting ad hominem accusations that my article-cum-viewpoint is worth less (or worthless) because I’m clearly biased and just another poor little rich girl living large on Papa Wang’s dollar and how could I possibly know what it’s like to be anything but upper-middle class. Well, the majority of the poor in the United States don’t know anything about what it’s like to be poverty-stricken in a developing country either, but no one … Continue reading

Opinion  /  April 11, 2012  / 

A Bunch of (Mostly) White Guys

I’ve been told that this is to be my last column this year, so I wanted to make it a super good one. Unfortunately, the little squirrel hostage I keep in my apartment who writes my columns and takes my finals for me (while stacked on top of ten other squirrels and wearing a trench coat for in-class exams) has caught a serious case of squirrel leprosy, so I am afraid this column will fail to meet most/any of your expectations. Now that we’ve pretty much decided to stop humoring Santorum and recognize that Mittens is inevitably the nominee (notwithstanding some deus ex machina) of the Republican Party, it’s time to start taking bets as to who Mitt will pick for VP. General consensus is Rob Portman, although there are always murmurings about Marco Rubio and Chris Christie. Let’s talk about these guys, and then I will share with you … Continue reading

Opinion  /  March 28, 2012  / 

Mitt Romney is (Probably) not a Zombie Nixon

Recently, people have been asking whether Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich are literally crazy. I don’t think anyone is asking this of Mittens, but mostly because someone who is considered that dull can’t possibly be crazy. (Disclaimer: Although I’m disappointed that Mittens thinks the Final Four happens in the middle of February, I do not think he’s as boring as most believe. Shockingly awkward, duh, but he’s a little too bitter and disillusioned to be boring.) It might seem crazy that these two are still in the race despite clearly having no shot in hell of winning the nomination unless Mitt Romney peels off his face and shows us that he’s actually a zombie Richard Nixon. And even then, I would probably take a shuffling, brain-munching, soulless (not too different, really) Richard Nixon over Santorum/Gingrich. But truthfully, I don’t see why Rich or Newt would ever leave the race. While … Continue reading

Opinion  /  March 21, 2012  / 


Hey y’all. In case any of you were wondering what I have been doing with myself, I was sick, beating a video game and then in Hotlanta for a week. I’ve also been in hiding due to the poor performance of my bracket. Which means, that a lot of really exciting-cum-terrible things have happened in my absence.  Here are the top five six stories I will not have time to be snarky about this week, in no particular order: 1. Is Tebow gonna be able to handle himself in NYC? Whole lotta sin… Not to mention a dirty Sanchez. (Yeah, you should Google that. But not in class unless you sit in the waaaay back). On the plus side, my mortal nemesis Peyton Manning has now joined forces with my other mortal nemesis John Elway, so my hatred can be more efficiently directed next year. 2. The Trayvon Martin story makes … Continue reading

Opinion  /  February 22, 2012  / 

Live Blog: CNN Arizona Republican Presidential Primary Debate

Lisa Wang, Law ’13, is live blogging the Republican primary debate hosted by CNN in Arizona, Wednesday night at 8 p.m. 8:01 p.m.: Last debate before Super Tuesday. Who else can’t believe Santorum is still in the race? 8:07 p.m.: The Final Four include: Newt “I promise I’m stopping at Callista” Gingrich, Ron “Even vaginas are bigger in Texas” Paul, Mitt “Just For Men” Romney, and Rick “Homeschooling makes it easier for me to molest my kids” Santorum. They’re making their introductions and Ricky got a pretty big applause. 8:08 p.m.: Oh man, Mittens does not look good tonight. I think his makeup girl is sick. And he just quoted George Costanza in an attempt to be normal! 8:10 p.m.: Question from the audience: What are you going to do to bring down the debt? Santorum is talking about his plan to shrink the budget. Apparently he’s had “experience” (read: voting … Continue reading

Opinion  /  February 8, 2012  / 

Me No Likee

Yeah, the Super Bowl happened on Sunday. Yeah, I spent most of the day napping and fighting off crazed women in a Somerville Target. Yeah, I only watched the last thirty seconds of the game and then watched commercials online the day after. Although not nearly as good as huskies in a car, this commercial for Pete Hoekstra’s U.S. Senate campaign has been bopping around the politico-sphere. For those who are too lazy to click, the ad is an attack effort against incumbent Democratic senator Debbie Spenditnow Stabenow. The video features a young, presumably Chinese woman who rides up through rice paddies in a bicycle, wearing a straw hat and then speaking in broken English.  Among other things she says: “You borrow more and more, from us . . . We take your jobs. Thank you Debbie ‘Spend-it-now’.” Before I really get into it, here’s the rundown: 1. Despite allegations … Continue reading

Opinion  /  February 1, 2012  / 

A Real Republican

I could talk about a lot of (very hilarious) things this week, such as Newt Gingrich’s multiple marriages/affairs/increasingly scary wives, or Mitt Romney’s complete and total awkwardness, or Rick Santorum’s weird, chubby-faced bigotry. Ron Paul is—much like his ideas and, one would imagine, his libido—a non-starter. But, like a true Republican, I’m going to spend this time complaining. Much like Jeb Bush, I am not pleased with the current political landscape. It seems like ours is the lost generation in the GOP. You know, I bet you’re a Republican. You just don’t know you are, because of the shoddy representation Republicans have. But let me set the record straight. (Republicans like straight.) There are Republicans out there who are not Tea Partiers, nor End-the-Fed libertarians, nor born-again funeral protesters, nor moose-killing Palinites. That’s right, you know where I’m going with this. Jon Huntsman. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE REPUBLICAN PARTY? … Continue reading