Leroy Jenkins

I’m a couple of weeks late with this topic, but I’m sure you’re all sick of hearing about the debates. (Like how Obama and Romney turned into the same person on the last one: pro-Israel, anti-China, milquetoasty.) Anyway, there is a certain Colleen Lachowicz, who is a Democratic candidate for the Maine state senate. She […]

A Rock and a Hard Place

I have a dilemma. For months now, I have been swearing left and right that I wouldn’t vote for either Romney or Obama. And now, I just don’t know. Quite obviously, I would never vote for Obama. First of all, he lacked moral integrity when he promised that he would shut down Guantanamo even though […]

Ten Things Romney and Obama Should Do Instead of Debating

Soon, it will be October, which means shorter days, all sorts of pumpkin-flavored shit, atrociously reffed football games, and the beginning of a seemingly interminable series of debates. Is anyone looking forward to these debates except to catch Mittens finally losing it and cussing out poor people? Despite the fact that Romney’s job for two […]

Must Louis Die?

As we trudge back to campus and into our regularly scheduled programming after a summer of either hazy debauchery and soul-sucking selling out or of getting a pre-graduation look at one’s impending impoverishment from a high horse, I have a few things to say in response to a certain Record piece and in general about […]