The New Adventures of Fenno

About the author: Fenno is a long-time contributor to the Record, recently returned from hiatus. A perpetual Harvard Law student, Fenno never ages, graduates, or experiences liver failure, but continues to sporadically attend classes whenever a busy recreational schedule permits. I woke propped like a plank across two leather footrests in Caspersen Student Center. I […]

Fenno and the Final Countdown

Note: This series is fictional. The First-Year’s Guide to the Law School has this to say on the subject of Thanksgiving break: They say that time is an illusion; the reading period, doubly so. Law students have for decades observed the strange changes in the rate of time’s passage that occur each and every late-November. […]

Fenno and the End of 1L (Part 8 of 8)

Note: This serial is fictional.  Fenno skipped out of class, his step light. He had finished his 1L classes. The past year was suddenly a blur: it had humbled him, challenged him, shouted him down, shook him to his very core, revealed to him the horrible inconsistencies of the law… And yet it was over. Not […]

Fenno and the Firm Decision (Part 7 of 8)

Note: This serial is fictional.  As the summer neared, Fenno could barely focus on his studies. His section was abuzz with a new puzzle, even more shiny and scary than exams: EIP. Although EIP was the path of least resistance and Fenno was not the kind to resist, he had began to be besieged by tiny little […]

Fenno and the Prisoner of Concord (Part 5 of 8)

Note: This serial is fictional. “Look, man, I really need your help,” the Prisoner of Concord pleaded. Fenno tried to remain unswayed. Prison Legal Assistance Project received dozens of such pleas a week. Fenno had joined because the time commitment, an hour a week, was negligible and the gaping white space on his resume demanded to […]

Fenno and the Perfect Hair (Part 4 of 8)

Note: This serial is fictional. Fenno had entered law school with so many dreams. As a 0L, he had basked in them, colorful and different, each one vibrant and warm. He would wake up every morning during that lazy summer before 1L and try on a new dream: he was an ambassador to Syria, a BigLaw partner, a […]

Fenno and the Cold Reception (Part 3 of 8)

Note: This serial is fictional.  The first person Fenno told about his LP was an OCS advisor. It struck him that his confidant was not a family member or a friend, but this stranger who recited assurances that he would get a job, but it would take work, hard work. He wanted to tell her that it […]

Fenno and the Ultimate Failure (Part 2 of 8)

Note: This serial is fictional. Fenno’s heart stopped when he saw it. The “LP” next to “Torts” was tiny, yet it seared him. A thousand thoughts ran through his head, and his tiny dorm room spun. He lay on the floor, wishing it would just swallow him already. He remembered his college friends teased him about […]

Fenno and The Prophecy (Part 1 of 8)

Note: This serial is fictional.  “You will all fail on January 26.” The words had appeared mysteriously on the white board beside Fenno’s room in Ames dormitory. When Fenno saw it this morning, still groggy from sleep, that terrible knot that had occupied his stomach since the end of finals stirred and tightened. Just as […]

Making Work Work for…Something

Note: This series is fictional. On his way home from OPIA, Fenno flipped through The First-Year’s Guide to the Law School’s “SPIF” entry: A pretty good deal. The Law School would prefer to cultivate a public image as something other than a factory mass-producing cogs in the machines that support the powerful, and so in […]

Closes a Door, Opens a Bottle

Note: This series is fictional.  —- FROM: Lisa Burns SUBJECT: Fall 2012 Grades Now Available (gulp) —- Fresh off a resoundingly successful run of Solving Problems, Fenno was strolling to his first bit of Crim when his phone buzzed. In retrospect, you’d say “buzzed ominously,” but come on, that thing goes off about 85 times […]

The Craving Contests

Note: This series is fictional. The total area of Austin North’s blackboards rivaled the square mileage of most Midwestern counties; nonetheless, Fenno’s Torts prof was struggling to find a sliver of space on which to write some nonsense about incentives or something. Fenno wasn’t listening—no, it was the rest of the blackboard that had his […]

Kong Phooey

Note: This serial is fictional.  “Kong. Bar Review. Tonight. You’re going.” Fenno glanced up at Chevy, who had just strolled into the common room with his demanding-face on. The two had met a few weeks back, when Fenno had sacrificed knee-skin to save Chevy from an oncoming Lesley skater; since then, the elder Chevy (sleepwalking through […]