Despite the fact that Nelly was one of the best-selling artists of the 2000s, he apparently owes the IRS a $2.4 million tax bill and may be having trouble paying it off. Based on the figures for royalties per stream, some websites have estimated that Nelly needs somewhere between 287 to 400 million streams to pay off his debts. However, as any tax student knows, Nelly will owe more taxes on these royalties, so he’d actually need as many as 660 million streams in order to pay off his debts. Anyway, if you’re in the mood to help Nelly out, here are the ten best Nelly songs to stream.
10. Pimp Juice – The music video for this song begins with a shot of a man driving a woman in labor to presumably a hospital. It is unclear what this scene has to do with the eponymous “pimp juice.” Could “pimp juice” refer to the amniotic fluid that leaks out of a woman whose water has broken? Perhaps. But it is unlikely.
9. Grillz – Nobody has ever told me that they want to see my grill, so maybe I’ve been hanging out with the wrong crowd. Of course, the most notable line of this song is “Got a bill in my mouth like I’m Hillary Rodham.”
8. Air Force Ones – A depressing ode to conspicuous consumption.
7. Batter Up – Respect for anything that brings back the Jeffersons theme song.
6. Hot in Herre – HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
5. E.I. – Is Nelly namedropping Alan Greenspan in this song? I don’t know. But let’s pretend he is.
4. Country Grammar – Nelly represents a lot of St. Louis in every video, but as he particularly notes in this single, he’s “from the Lou and [he’s] proud.”
3. Just a Dream – Did Dali film this video? I don’t know. Probably not. Because Dali is dead.
2. Dilemma – This song prominently features Kelly Rowland in the refrain. Would it need to be streamed twice for Nelly to get the same royalties?
1. Ride Wit Me – In “Ride Wit Me,” Nelly brags that he got the title from his mamma and that he now runs credit checks with no shame. Hopefully by streaming “Ride Wit Me” 660 million times, we can help make that true again.
Bonus Track: Over And Over – I am bad at numbering, so this gets shunted down here. Nelly and Tim McGraw say that it’s all in their head. Ostensibly they’re singing about a lost lover. But could they in fact be singing about their slow descent into madness?
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