Ceilings Around Campus Shattered

Several student groups around campus have apparently taken “Shatter the Ceiling” a bit too literally and have destroyed many ceilings in various buildings around campus. HLS Facilities Management has complained to The Record. “I’ve had to put in double shifts over the past two weeks to clean up the mess from all the shattered ceilings,” said Oliver W. Holmes, a long-time janitor with Facilities Management.

Professors have also complained about the missing ceilings. “I’ve had to teach classes outside for the past two weeks,” said Professor Smith. “It’s really hard to nail a 1L with a tough cold-call when you have bird shit dripping down your suit jacket.”

Students have overall been pleased with the change in campus atmosphere. “I’ve been stuck in Langdell studying for weeks,” said an anonymous 1L. “Now that the library ceiling is gone, it is basically impossible to get any studying done.”

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