BY PAMELA FOOHEY
If you give an HLS student a chocolate covered pretzel, he’s going to ask for an on-campus interview.
At the end of the interview, he’ll probably ask for a callback.
When you give him a callback, he’ll ask to be flown to your office.
Once he schedules his flight, he’ll realize he has no place to stay.
So you’ll have to put him up in a hotel.
On his way to the hotel, he’ll notice that he’s hungry.
He’ll be forced to eat a few meals out, all expensed to you, of course.
And after he’s interviewed with five attorneys in a row, he’s going to ask for a nice lunch.
Impressed by his stay, he’ll want a summer offer.
With the summer offer in hand, he’s going to want an offer dinner to ease him into his decision.
Confident in his decision, he’ll ask for an office, an assistant, and a Blackberry, not to mention a hefty weekly salary.
And when he begins his summer, he’ll notice that there is an abundance of free food.
So, he’ll probably ask for lunch everyday.
At first he’ll be too afraid to leave his office for anything but lunch and official events.
But once he’s bonded with his Blackberry, he’ll be comfortable leaving the office frequently.
He’ll want breakfast and coffee breaks and whatever else his fellow summers are getting.
Just when you think he can ask for nothing more, the summer will be over, and he’ll ask for a full-time offer.
Once he has his offer, he’ll compare it with his friends’ to make sure it includes everything theirs do.
Seeing you haven’t overlooked a hefty salary and fantastic benefits, a laptop, a Blackberry, relocation expenses, a signing bonus, the option of clerking, and a clerkship bonus, he’ll accept.
After accepting, he’s going to ask to visit your hospitality suite during on-campus interviewing.
He’ll ask for a chocolate covered pretzel, which won’t mean much to you.
Except, he’ll bring a 2L friend with him.
And chances are that 2L friend will ask for a chocolate covered pretzel.
Pamela Foohey, 3L, hopes her firm gives her chocolate covered pretzels when she visits their hospitality suite.
*Adapted from Laura Joffe Numeroff’s If You Give A Mouse A Cookie for particular application (i.e. warning) to law firms interviewing at the Charles Hotel.