In your most recent edition, there was speculation on whether or not the Dean of Harvard Law School may become the Dean of Harvard University. Perhaps an equally important question is what a new Dean of the University (whoever that might be) could do once in office; after they are selected to wear the crown. So, while nobody except the future Dean of the University (whoever that might be) can be certain of their future intentions; let’s speculate on what the next Dean of the University (whoever that might be) might do in their first 100 hours in office, upon taking the throne:
1) Flooding Harvard Yard with 6 inches of water, and showing the movie Water-World over the pond, on warm summer days.
2) Providing free coffee to the homeless in Harvard Square, and making certain that all of it is “free trade” coffee.
3) Signing protest letters along with the Deans of 100 other University Presidents, protesting and expressing “shock” at anyone that disagrees with them.
4) Building a new statue, and dedicating it to the former Dean of the University, in Harvard Yard, and naming it “political correctness rules here now”.
5) Increasing the salaries of all leadership positions at the University, while raising tuition to pay for the raises.
6) Engaging the students of the University by silence, and by hiding behind spokesmen who are paid to not say what they really think.
7) Fund raising hundreds of millions of dollars from corporations and graduates; and then with-holding that money from the students so they can build up a University Trust Fund.
8) Paying the investment managers of the already large University Trust Fund millions of dollars to 6 of them, because it is so difficult to invest a billion dollars these days.
9) Placing further restrictions on the ability of the military to recruit on campus during a time of war, and acting “shocked” when the government asks law firms to stop paying for the defense of terrorism and terrorists (at no charge to the terrorists).
10) Otherwise ruling like the University exists to serve its wealthy leaders, instead of serving its students who pay for the University.
Respectfully submitted,Charles Facktor (HLS 1990)