Overheard in the Hark


You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be printed in…OVERHEARD IN THE HARK

Internal monologue of unidentified Story Resident, 2:00AM, early Monday morning, November 20:”Damn, the eggs that I’m cooking just caught on fire. What should I do with the pan? Should I leave it covered in water in the sink? Should I make every effort to make sure that the fire is extinguished before going to bed? OR maybe I could just cut corners. Maybe I should just put the burning eggs in the garbage can. These buildings are made out of cinder blocks anyway, so they probably won’t burn down. It’s not quite the dead of winter yet, the temperature is only hovering above freezing, so if the fire alarms go off the hundreds of sleeping residents who have to evacuate won’t freeze to death. I think I’ll do that.”

Girl, to friends: I even got Stuart* to come to the girls’ bathroom with me to tell me if he thought the smell was alarming. *Name changed to protect the sniffer’s privacy

Distressed Student: Have you done the reading for today?Friend: Yeah.Distressed Studnet: It was unintelligble, right?Friend: Yeah.Distressed Student: I don’t even know what we’re supposed to do with it.Friend: Cry?

In Evidence class discussing privileges:Professor: With some frequency students come into my office and tell me things they don’t want me to disclose to The Record. … The interesting thing is that for 100% of these conversations, no one cares about the fact that there is no student-faculty privilege. If required by a subpoena to disclose what you said in my office, I’m going to tell.

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