Fenno

BY

Fenno sighed. How was he going to follow the big Pretty Pretty Princess scandal? It was a few days before Spring Break, and Fenno was wondering why he hadn’t skipped out two weeks ago like Chris Keenum. Fenno just didn’t have the balls.

“Blah, blah, blah. I’m inserting this random joke, so that the class will love me. Blah, blah, blah.” Professor Young just didn’t understand that students really, really need a break in classes more than an hour and 20 minutes long, especially when that class is Fed. Courts. Fenno felt that Professor Young was very careful not to be labeled a liberal. God knows what would happen if he were to offend his large Federalist constituency. So long as they thought he was a conservative, maybe he’d have a better chance at tenure through some kind of affirmative action program. Fenno liked Professor Young anyway. He was young, laid back, and easy on the eyes and ears, unlike some professors. “Why are Professor Von Mehron and Professor Westfall still teaching?” Fenno wondered. Many of the old professors just didn’t understand the concept of the gentlemen’s B-. Fenno hoped Professor Young would understand what it is that he’s supposed to do when he sees the special box on the final exam. God it’s great to be a 3L.

“What if Congress tried to move jurisdiction of a single specific case from a state court to a federal court? Would it be undermining the Founders’ intent to create a separation…” Mark Yohalem always seemed to ask the most unlikely questions ever. Fenno knew Congress would never be so brazen as to commit such an act. He opened up a game of spider solitaire. This certainly wouldn’t be on the final.

Fenno loved spider solitaire. Without it, he knew that he never would have made it through law school. Fenno knew that lots of other people liked to play with 4 suits, but Fenno was a purist and insisted on sticking to two suites.

It was 20 minutes into class. The door swung open, and some girl walked down to the front row of the class. Fenno didn’t know her name, but he did know that she came to class about once every two weeks, she was always late, and she always sat in the front row. In fact, Fenno knew a couple of 3Ls like that. Professor Young seemed to like her, however. Maybe it was because despite her frequent absences, she always seemed to know the right answer or the right question to ask.

Fenno looked at the clock. There was still another hour left in class. Fenno got up and left. He slowly walked down the stairs to the restroom. He didn’t really have to go, but he’d found in the last three years that a trip to the bathroom in the middle of class could really be exciting. Damn! What’s that stupid code? Fenno couldn’t remember. Oh, well. This gave him a good reason to wander the halls in a mock search for the restroom.

On the way, Fenno ran into Lee Rowland. Rowland was a hippie of the worst kind. She wore bright colors, cut her hair outrageously short, and thought for herself. Rowland represented all that Fenno thought was wrong with the Democratic party. Too many free thinking people, with no particular goal. Fenno averted his eyes as he passed, for secretly he wanted to be more like her. But free thinking and the hippie mentality didn’t put Porsches in the garage.

Fenno was exhausted. He just couldn’t find anything interesting to write about. Everything had been done, and law students are fickle. Fenno almost felt average, but he knew better than that.

Just then Fenno ran into Jennifer Carter. “Hey, Jen,” Fenno said. “Congratulations on JLPP.”

“Thanks, Fenno,” Jen said never breaking stride, but giving Fenno a sly smile.

Fenno felt better. He did love the ladies. Fenno decided not to go back to class. Instead he headed for the Hark. Maybe if he shot some pool he’d be inspired. Unfortunately for Fenno, there was some frizzy haired girl at the table. Fenno thought her name was Chloe. Hmmmm. Chloe Cockburn maybe? Bah, Fenno quit.

He walked back to class, grabbed his books, and went home. Fenno needed a nap, and he was sure that Professor Young didn’t know who he was. That was just another advantage of being a typical Harvard Law Student. He could just blend in with the masses. But Fenno knew he was no clone. He’d won the Sears Prize two years in a row. At least in his dreams he had.

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