Fenno

BY FENNO

Fenno was walking down Mass. Ave, wallowing in her own glory. Fenno’s time had finally come. Fenno was no longer the lost 1L, nor the confused and gullible 2L. Fenno had finally become that jaded 3L with the pocketful of Job Offers that all the underclassmen hated, but wanted to have anyway. Fenno knew which professors slept with students. Fenno knew the HLS drug scene to be, in fact, omnipresent. And Fenno finally knew which student groups held all the power at Harvard Law School. Fenno was full of pride and gloating at pondering all this, until Michael Lorelli jogged by. Fenno thought for a second that Michael Lorelli had the body of a god. Unfortunately for Fenno and the other lonely women at the Law School, Michael Lorelli considered his body to be a temple for God. Mormons, priests, or prison – that’s where all the good men really are. Seeing Lorelli only reminded Fenno of how cold Boston winters can be when there’s no one to snuggle up to at night.

At that moment, Scott Nolen, the forever bachelor, walked by and gave Fenno hope that she might just yet snag an HLS-MRS. “Hey, Scott. How’s it going?” Fenno asked. “Well.” So said Nolen with that sneaky way of smiling that he always uses when he’s analyzing somone. Fenno squirmed uncomfortably. Then, with what looked like skipping, a chipper young girl with a strong British accent bounded up. She pecked him on his cheek. Fenno recognized her as an extremely liberal, particularly perky, 2L girl. In Fenno’s denial Fenno wondered, “Why is she kissing Scott?”

Fenno never heard anything after, “Fenno, I want to introduce you to my girlfriend…”

Fenno stood shocked! Fenno smiled, nodded and occasionally interjected with an “Oh?” or a “Really?” whenever there was a pause in the couple’s bubbly chatter. Fenno learned the skill of Non-Listening in her years on the Law School’s campus. After Fenno excused herself, she stumbled into the newly remodeled Hark restrooms. Despite Fenno’s dismay, Fenno couldn’t help but

appreciate how much cleaner the place looked. Last year, this bathroom seemed more likely to belong in an inner-city high school than the best and most elite Law School in the World. What was Fenno to do? Even the last guy Fenno expected to have a girlfriend was tied down now! As Fenno stood there tossing water on her face, Kim Pack walked in. Thank God, Fenno thought. Kim will understand my pain. Fenno had spent the last two years listening to Ms. Pack complain that the Law School Admissions Office had failed to consider the concerns of the beautiful women of BLSA. Her motto had always been, “There just aren’t enough Black men on campus.”

“Hey, Kim,” Fenno said cheerily. Misery loves company. “Still looking for Mister Right?”

“Nope. I’ve already found him,” said Kim with a satisfied smile. She could see right through Fenno. Fenno and Kim walked out of the restroom whereupon Kim grabbed Jason Billy’s hand and kissed it. Fenno shook her head in disbelief. This was all so wrong.

This definitely had to be a bad dream. But Fenno knew it wasn’t a dream because Jason kind of shrugged at Fenno and whispered over his shoulder, “I want to be a governor someday.” Et tu, Jason?

Fenno stood there watching as they walked away and what seemed like a rush of couples paraded by, all holding hands. Fenno now ran the risk of being the only 3L without an HLS mate. Even Ryan Hecker had found someone at HLS to love him! Fenno was nearly hyperventilating before she noticed a rush of new and distraught young faces. Handsome faces, not so handsome faces, and handsome-for-Harvard faces.

“The new 1L class,” Fenno suddenly thought. Smiling at one of the Harvard handsome faces, Fenno decided to take it slow. The 1L blushed, but definitely smiled back, then continued to make eye contact for way too long. “Yes. It’s nice to be back,” Fenno thought as she walked over to him to ask if he was a Red Sox fan.

There was a game against New York tonight and Fenno’d just gotten’ her key to Garry Grundy’s New Lincoln’s Inn. 3L year was here and Fenno was going to come out swinging.

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