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New system allows students easier access to random distribution of A-‘s, B+’s

In what appeared to be easier than some may have thought, the registrar’s office has flipped a couple of switches to allow students to check their grades online. Eager and still caring 1Ls were able to see if they should pack up their belongings and head back home on Tuesday, meaning the grades from first semester were available for viewing. Apathetic and uncaring 2Ls and 3Ls will soon be able to check and see how much less they can study during the current semester and any that may follow.

Official Harvard porn set to focus on “sexual issues,” titilation

As a testament to how much time they have on their hands as undergraduates, the Committee on College Life voted fourteen to two to approve a student-run magazine that focuses on sexual issues and nude pictures of Harvard undergrads, according to The Crimson. The magazine, which will be called H Bomb, will not have immediate funding, and Assistant Dean of the College Paul J. McLoughlin, a CCL member, told The Crimson, “They will still have to go through the granting application process. [Approval] gives them the ability to apply for grants but nothing else.” The Crimson reports that the anticipated release of the magazine is sometime this semester.

“Until death do us – oh, wait, that won’t work”

Reuters reports that a French woman took an emotional step and walked down the aisle to marry the love of her life: her dead boyfriend. She didn’t actually walk down any aisle and she wore black instead of white when she went to city hall for the ceremony, where she wed her longtime boyfriend, who was alive as recently as eighteen months ago. “Eric and I promised when he was alive that we would get married,” Christel Demichel says, as reported by Reuters, “Even though he is dead, I respect the values I shared with him, especially as his death was not his fault.” Eric Demichel was killed in a hit-and-run accident in September 2002, Reuters reports.

Dershowitz defends most controversial client to date: The Federalist Society

HLS Professor Alan Dershowitz, whose highly-publicized litigation has defended such notables as O.J. Simpson, Patty Hearst, and Mike Tyson, told the Denver Post that he has a soft spot for the Federalist Society.

“I am a tremendous admirer of this organization. I agree completely that it has served an enormously valuable function in getting the debate going about the meaning of the Constitution,” he said.

Dershowitz joins as many as three other HLS professors – Charles Fried, Richard Parker, and Mary Ann Glendon – who have said nice things publicly about this controversial on-campus operation.

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