Newsbriefs: The color of money and “sponge worthy”

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$20 bills boast new colors, same president

In an effort to reduce the circulation of counterfeit money, the government has announced a makeover of the greenback. On March 16 the Treasury department will unveil a new $20 bill with a subtle change in its background color. The announcement may lead some individuals to place bets on which color may be chosen.

One HLS student has studied the rainbow and devised odds for the major contestants. “Two to one that the government chooses neon green given our attachment to the greenback nickname. Blue is a little higher at three to one. Given the desires of this administration to court minority voters, the odds are ten to one that officials would choose black and 50 to one for red, since, with the fundraising season approaching, the administration will want to avoid comparisons with blood money. Finally, as for the 1000 to one odds for pink, I don’t think much explanation is needed with this administration.”

Finally, question of “sponge-worthiness” can be answered

Fans of the Today Sponge episode of Seinfeld will soon have the opportunity to set their own “sponge worthy” standards for potential partners. Allendale Pharmaceuticals bought rights to the contraceptive from Wyeth, the drug company that discontinued it. Allendale will begin selling the product this month through Canadian Web sites.

Two hundred and fifty million Today Sponges were sold from 1983 to 1995. It was taken off the shelf after problems were found at Wyeth’s factory, and the company decided not to upgrade its plant. The FDA never questioned the contraceptive’s safety or effectiveness.

Among some HLS women, the rush to the Internet may not come anytime soon. Referring to the $2.80 price for each sponge, one woman said, “The problem with the sponge is that every time I’m having sex with a guy, I’m going to be wondering whether he is worth three dollars.”

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