BY PHILLIP ’01
The hoop season is in high gear and playoff seedings are shaking out as the HLS cagers struggle to reach the promised land of the championship.
Saturday’s B-League action featured two blowouts and one game that came down to the final buzzer. The Stormin’ Mormons outplayed Mr. Sparkle, especially with the inside game, to win 56-29. Chris Get Your Rocks Schoff wiped the glass clean on the defensive end, and Ed The Western Literary Cannon ’02 drained a plethora of threes to break the game open early. Steve I Wish I Was In Dixon ’02 did all he could with some outside shooting, while Tom Breathe A Simek Of Relief ’02 had a nifty drive and underhanded scoop to help Sparkle mount a run early in the second half. The Mormons made the lead hold up as Jeremy Out in Right Fielding ’03 took over in the paint and added a few bunnies for the final margin.
In the other lopsided game of the day, Suburban Legend handed Kaiser Sozi a 72-35 drubbing. In what looked like a close game on paper coming in, Legend came out firing on all cylinders. Noah The Whipping Boyens ’01 came off the bench to ignite the first of many Legend runs with his smooth jumper. Cameron Cohen Of Silence ’01 hit a couple of high-arcing three pointers to keep it close early, but the Kaiser had no answer for Robin The Berlin Wall ‘0 , who dominated the paint on both sides of the floor. The Kaiser had a slight resurgence in the waning moments of the first half when Peter Marmo Money Mo Problems ’01 turned it on for a three and a driving layup but could not come up with any offense in the second half. Pastrami On Ryan Cobb ’02 had the highlight reel block of the day when he snuffed Casey Moons Westover My Hammy ’01 on what looked like an easy breakaway. Not to be outdone, Westover came back on the ensuing inbounds play with a behind the back beauty to Wall for an easy two.
The last of Saturday’s highlights featured a tight game between The Playah Hatahs and Forbes Team. Neither team had more than a five point lead, and, in the end, it all came down to the final shot. Early on it looked as though Forbes would have an easy time of it with Alvin And the Chipmunks Velazquez ’03 and Jeremiah Out of His Gordon ’03 having their way inside. Gordon’s next level post moves seemed unstoppable. Yet, every time Forbes went inside the Hatahs went outside. Noah Johnny Mne-Monick ’03 nailed a couple of big threes to keep it close, and Will Brumbach That Ass Up ’03 provided hustle and a much needed second scoring option with his own outside shooting. After all the banging, the smallest player on the court determined the outcome. Bridgette Every Rose Has Its Thornton ’03 grabbed the rebound with her squad, Forbes, down one, and put up a ten footer for the win, but the hoop gods did not smile kindly on her as the shot rimmed out with no time left to give the Hatahs a 49-48 victory.
The Co-Ed League also had its own nailbiter as The Schwarzc played a heavily favored BarGulMusLinMan down to the wire. Jonathan Har-Dee-Har Harwell ’03 shut down Bar’s guards with lightning quick hands and gave his team some early offense with a mid-range jump shot. With the outside game not there, BarGulMusLinMan went into the post where Joe Jonathan Livingston Sea-Gulley ’01 used his post up moves to get some layups and draw some fouls. Danielle Touch Of Gray ’03 made two shots to open the second half and Rich J.P. Morgan And Coe ’03 knifed through Bar’s D to turn a seven point half time deficit into a five point lead. Bar would not lie down, though, as Misty Leave The Light On For Me ’01 , nailed a huge eighteen footer to put Bar up by one with a minute to go. Having to foul, The Schwarzc gave it up an Andy When I Get That Feeling I Need Sexual Healy calmly sank two free throws to give Bar the 53-50 victory.
While the other C-League game was not as close, the Gannett House grudge match between Legal Aid and the SupraSonics (Law Review) did feature some stellar shooting, most prominently by Legal Aid’s Get Out of My Dreams, Get Into My Carmen Alexander ’02 with her 12 foot jumper that would not miss. The SupraSonics answered with Lauren Bowyer and Fletcher ’02 , who had her own outside J working. Legal Aid got their points from everywhere with Matt Next of Watkins ’02 having a big game from outside the arc. The Sonics countered with You’re On Yaron Glazer ’02 who drove the lane for a number of fancy, twisting layups and Matt There’s Going To Be Hellman To Pay ’02 providing hustle and defense. But Legal Aid had the luck of Dave Make A Run For The Borders Jr. ’01 , who managed to go undefeated over his Legal Aid career against the arch-rival Law Review, helping to post Legal Aid’s 68-38 victory. Congrats, Dave, on your complete domination of the upstairs foe.
A-League action was fast and furious but only provided one close matchup. In earlier games The Outlaws defeated Hickory High 76-51. Brian Kang Kong ’03 swatted numerous shots for the Outlaws and Brent On World Domination Bickley ’03 added some first half scoring punch. Hickory answered with their own low post presence as I’ll Show You Mine If You Shawn Me Yours Travis ’01 brought his A-game, muscling his way in the paint to pull Hickory within three at the half. Kelly The Old Huffman Of The Sea ’01 knocked down a few treys and Rich Froom With a View ’01 kept a nice handle on the ball, but Teddy Miller Time ’03 played his usual stellar all-around game, knocking down the eighteen footers and driving to the hole, to extend The Outlaws to the final margin.
In a game whose score does not tell the whole story, the Harvard Law Stars defeated the Cambridge Gunners 59-44. The Law Stars, led by Chris Gretina Turner ’02 , came out firing from beyond the arc while The Gunners relied on Snap Into A Slim Jim Jordan ’02 to slash to the whole. The game remained close early, until Ben Man, Would I Like To Get On Hur ’02 started on a hot shooting streak to help the Law Stars build a small lead at the half. Baxter Was Not Wasson ’01 crashed the boards for the Gunners and Steve The Wright Stuff ’02 used the stop and pop for a couple of easy scores, but Scott Mayne Attraction ’02 ensured the Law Stars victory with a combination inside-outside game that the Gunners just could not stop.
In the featured game of the night, Showtime II met The Black Plague, in a likely playoff preview. Jamal Lesane In The Brain ’01 was nailing his customary three pointers for the Plague while Mike Spawning Salmon ’02 let loose from deep for Showtime. Darien Put Your Best Futrell Forward ’01 played fluidly on both ends of the court, making jumpers and
providing much needed stops for the Plague, but with Showtime down one, Mike The Rich Get Rishty ’01 hit two clutch jumpers, and Jonathan Mitchell For A Minute, Doug E. Fresh Says Silence ’02 added a baby hook in the lane to give Showtime the 47-42 victory in this defensive struggle.
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