This is a parody. Duh! Any similarity to real events, persons, etc. are almost completely coincidental. Anyone who takes the things written in this paper seriously should have their head checked.
But seriously folks, we understand that some people may find the contents of this parody offensive, tasteless or otherwise aesthetically unappealing. We sympathize with you. The more cultured of us even feel the same way. If you have any complaints, please address them to:
–The REJECT Parody Staff