Report Card

BY

It’s the end of the semester, and grades are in!*In the spirit of HLS, these grades may seem completely arbitrary. That’s because, in a way, they are.

Mark Weber — An enthusiastic B+. Let’s face it, Mark. The legal market right now ain’t so hot, and “challenging” is a transparent euphemism. But overall you’ve done an admirable job of eliminating some of the more arcane aspects of the OCI process.

Whoever keeps arbitrarily tearing student comments off of the Sound-off board — C-. Someone has to maintain standards of public decency, but a little consistency would be nice.

Charlie Nesson — X. What are grades, anyway? No, really, you get a C. You’ve kept us rolling in the floors this fall, but we’re not amused with the in-class description of your sexual organs.

ITS — W/D. Your reassuring emails are nice, but let’s see some results.

The genius at the distribution center who decided to put course packets on the counter — A. We don’t have to yell “Contracts with Brewer. No! BREWER!” over the din of the Xerox machines anymore. Plus, now we trust you when you tell us there’s nothing to pick up.

Grade reform — F. What reform? If you were trying to make the first year less competitive, why did you vote to add a grade for FYL? And a “suggested mandatory curve” doesn’t get a lot of mileage at a school where professors can’t agree on when to schedule a speaker.

That white-haired woman who’s almost slower than OpenMail when checking people out at the Hark — C-. We have places to be, lady. And, yes, I am a student.

Faculty rumor mill — A+. Thanks for keeping us amused, guys. From now on, a little less national press would be better for the school, but suit yourselves.

Shawn McDonald — B-. He surpassed Nick Brown when it comes to HLS in the public eye, but we’re not thrilled with his comments about having his own “little outsourced stable” of women.

Undergrads who use Hemenway — D-. This campus isn’t yours yet. Get off my treadmill.

Dean Clark — GNR. We’re waiting to see if you will weigh faculty and student input on the Allston option. But we do like the fact that you’ve been known to play a little foosball.

HL Central — C+. Bring back TJ! At least then we’ll know what your intentions are. All this stuff about community service is confusing us. Can we get points for helping our roommates nurse their bar review hangovers?

And speaking of which … TJ Duane — A. Thanks for the pizza at the MPRE-review class.

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