BY ALLISON WHITE
Having survived the OCI juggernaut more or less intact, the average 2L can safely place the heady, angst-drenched on-campus interview process behind himself and look forward to the heady, angst-drenched Flyout Week process. A RECORD columnist who truly cares about his readers would be remiss not to offer suggestions on how to ease the travel tension. Two-Ls, assuming you are not flying on the satellite-TV-at-every-seat JetBlue, you are going to need some entertainment for your week of flight delays, runway waits, and non-movie flights. Thus, it is with quiet modesty in my taste in music that I offer to you My Essential Flyout Week Travel Mix CD.
[I offer these with apologies to Fenno, who will surely be disappointed by a version of “Interview Aspirations’” that suffers from a glaring lack of smitin’ and throat-steppin.’]
“Take the Money and Run” (Steve Miller Band): With Arthur Andersen dead and buried, WorldCom and Enron on life support and Martha Stewart Omnivision desperately seeking some legal antibiotics, corporate law enforcement is surely on the minds of some civic-minded HLSers. For those hearty Eliot Spitzer idealists, I recommend this Steve Miller classic about the pursuit of criminals and restitution for their ill-gotten gains. Essential Lyric: “Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas / You know he knows just exactly what the facts is / He ain’t gonna let those two escape justice / He makes his livin’ off of the people’s taxes.” See also, “I Fought the Law (and the Law Won)” (The Clash).
“All About the Benjamins (Rock Remix)” (Puff Daddy et al.): It’s no secret that, each year, more than a couple of aimless HLS kids head south to New York for no better reason than the promise of $2,403 a week for a summer and God-knows-how-much after that. To them, there is something quietly reassuring in this ode to Mr. Franklin. Essential Lyric: “Now… what y’all wanna do? / Wanna be ballers? Shot-callers? / Brawlers – who be dippin’ in the Benz wit’ the spoilers / On the low from the Jake in the Taurus?” But see “Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems” (Notorious B.I.G.) (“It’s like the more money we come across / The more problems we see.”).
“The Godfather Waltz”: A common criticism of HLS students is that they leave law school having forgotten what brought them to law school in the first place. For those of you who are still working out your Tom Hagen issues, I recommend this one-way ticket to your roots, consigliere. See also, “Woke Up This Morning (Sopranos Theme)”, “Law & Order (Main Title Theme)”.
“Get Together” (The Youngbloods): While some of us feel naturally drawn to litigation practice, I am not one to thrust my own preferences upon members of my audience that are drawn to less confrontational pursuits. For them, may I suggest something a little bit mellow? It is noticeably easier to “Get To Yes” when you’ve got the appropriate soundtrack playing in the mediation room. Essential Lyric: “Come on people now / Smile on your brother / Everybody get together / Try to love one another right now.” For full retro effect, light up some incense and vote McGovern. Litigation types might not go for this one, but that’s why Limp Bizkit still sells records.
“Guerrilla Radio” (Rage Against the Machine): The law market might be tight this year, but there’s always room for a couple of extra entrants into the lucrative field of “Activist Lawyer for a Controversial Political Cause.” Whether you aspire to be The Go-To Guy for Arrested WTO Protestors, or even In House Counsel for a Patch of Threatened Redwood Trees Somewhere Near Portland, you need a soundtrack worthy of your cause. Rage Against the Machine (or its newest incarnation, Civilian, featuring Chris Cornell, ex-Soundgarden) is a safe bet for a charming, if edgy, protest chant. Essential Lyric: “The fistagons / Bullets and bombs / Who stuff the banks / Who staff the party ranks / More for Gore or the son of a drug lord / None of the above fuck it cut the cord.” Those who would like to stick it to The Man/The System/Big Brother but who don’t feel quite as militant are welcome to strike back in their own little ways and start small, by springing street crime perps through the tried-and-true search-and-seizure violation allegation. See, e.g, “New York City Cops” (The Strokes) (“New York City cops / New York City cops / New York City cops / They ain’t too smart”).
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